Why the Aliens Don’t Talk to Us

Probability theory tells us that there are billions of planets in the universe with life on them.  Many of these worlds are inhabited by ultra-intelligent, highly enlightened entities.

Some folks are skeptical about whether the aliens are really out there, though. They ask why these advanced beings don’t ever contact us.  For these unbelievers, I have a pair of recent news stories to share.

1. In Chicago, there’s a pilot program that combines traditional high school education with vocational training, making sure that the graduates have the skills needed to get good-paying jobs. So far it has a 100% success rate. This groundbreaking initiative recently got $100 million in funding.

2. Meanwhile, Mark Zuckerburg, who we all know, just found out about an app that lets people on Facebook talk to people on Google+. He gave the inventors $19 billion. That’s almost 200 times the amount of money that was given to the schools.

Once again:

We earthlings gave $100 million to finance a revolutionary approach to schooling, one that may end the skills gap among American workers, making our nation more competitive on a world scale.

AND

We gave $19 billion for an app that lets a guy on Facebook say to his friend on Google+, “‘sup, bitch?”

And that, my dear readers, is why the aliens prefer to leave us alone.

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